Where to Begin

My husband hasn’t read any of my books. He would have if I’d let him. But it has taken me years to cultivate that one little thing that makes all the difference: confidence. I didn’t want him to think I had no talent, or that all the time I spent writing was a waste.

If I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be this: Just because you fear your writing isn’t good, doesn’t mean it’s bad. Write anyway. 

Here’s how I began:

I tried to write a story based on Scout from To Kill A Mockingbird. It was terrible. I decided to never try again. Then, a teacher told me I was a good writer.

I tried again.

I attempted to write a romance. It was embarrassing. I told myself I’d never write again. Then, I made a speech at my little brother’s funeral and the pastor asked me if I was a writer.

I wrote again.

I needed to know if I had it in me to write a whole book, and told myself that even if it was terrible, at least I would know that I could do it. I wrote when time and children allowed, oftentimes having to go back and reread my own story to remember the details.

I wrote the book. 

It wasn’t enough.

Once the book was written, I wanted it to be good. I joined writing clubs, took online classes, and shared my books with other writers—I critiqued their work and they critiqued mine. I hired a writing coach. In my spare time, I read books on writing, I read books in the genre I enjoyed, and I obsessively learned the craft of writing. You must learn point of view, tense, character development, and so much more. If you think you don’t have time to obsessively learn something, let me add a caveat: I learned when I had the time. I was raising children. Months would go by when I didn’t have the time or energy to do anything for myself. But the desire remained. I subscribed to Writer’s Digest magazine and it would often take me until the next issue to get through it. I learned in fits and spurts. I wasn’t waking up at 5am and writing every day. I was doing what I could within the parameters of my responsibilities and emotional bandwidth. I simply kept at it.

Finally, the book was good. 

That still wasn’t enough.

Now I had a good book, but sending the manuscript to friends and family via email or printed out and tied together with ribbons wasn’t fulfilling. I needed to know if I could actually get published.

I sent hundreds of query letters to literary agents, and received hundreds of rejections. I attended conferences and pitched agents in person. I got a few requests for the entire manuscript, and ultimately, more rejections. I learned that there are many reasons for an agent to pass, and it isn’t always the quality of your work. First, their list might be full. Second, they may have a book like yours already. Third, they may have a standard “the book must make me cry twice” rule, or some such thing. Fourth, there are as many reasons for passing on a book as there are reasons to refuse a second date with that guy who is really great, just not your type. Most often, the agent never even looks at the manuscript. 

So, how did I find my publisher? A friend. I’ve been letting friends read my books for years. This particular friend had a high school buddy who began a small traditional publishing house years ago. This friend of a friend had her editors read my manuscript and made me an offer. A three-book offer! 

We’ve all heard the saying that it’s about who you know, and that has been proven true in this case. But it’s also true that perseverance pays off. I’ve been working at this for more than 13 years, and am just now seeing some success.

So, where to begin? Start writing. And, then? Get feedback, share your work, and never, ever give up.